6 steps to successfully sleep training your child

You've put with the multiple night waking, you're getting far less sleep than you should (remember if you have a short duration of sleep you are more at risk of; Increased risk of motor vehicle accidents. Increase in body mass index – a greater likelihood of obesity due to an increased appetite caused by sleep deprivation. Increased risk of diabetes and heart problems. Increased risk for psychiatric conditions including depression and substance abuse

Decreased ability to pay attention, react to signals or remember new information) you need more sleep not just for your health but your child's development. You are ready to sleep train your child.

Here's my tips for helping you successfully sleep train your child.

1. Decide on your sleep training technique well in advance. Read up on it and then reread. You want to make sure you know what you need to do both getting your child to sleep initially and then during the night. Write it down if you need to.
2. Make sure your partner is on board and knows what they need to do during the night.
3. Don't expect to see any improvement for at least three nights. Breaking habits is hard to do.
4. Make sure you are 100% committed. Your child is going to be frustrated and upset that they are not being got to sleep as they usually do. If you give in after 30/45/60+ minutes you're just letting your child know that you will eventually give in. It's also not fair on your child to have them frustrated and upset only to do what they originally wanted.
5. Take the night in shifts with your partner. That way you'll both get a few solid hours of sleep. Lots of families start sleep training on a Friday night, that way you can have tag team naps the following day!
6. Be consistent, research shows that any sleep training method will work if you are consistent.

Good luck, sleep training isn't easy. But all parents agree that when they're sleeping through the night it was well worth it.

Co-sleeping safely.

You may not have planned on co-sleeping with your infant, but hey, most of us will do anything to get some more sleep!Quite often parents and infants get more and better quality sleep when co-sleeping. Nursing can be quick and easy when co-sleeping (that is if you can nurse lying down, personally I never could).

Though don't feel pressured into co-sleeping, every family is different and it suits some more than others. I didn't so-sleep with either of my children, I am such a light sleeper (and I was unable to nurse lying down) that I would wake whenever baby moved (and if you've had a baby you know they are noisy fidgety little things!). I had my daughters in a bassinet next to our bed.

If you are going to co-sleep you want to make sure that you are co-sleeping safely with your infant, he are some things to consider;

• make sure that both parents agree to co-sleep. You are bring someone new into your and your partners bed, everyone needs to agree.
• Where will baby sleep? Yes I know in bed with you, but where? Will they be in-between you and your partner? Or, will they be between Mom and the side of the bed. You will need a guardrail on the side of the bed.
• When your infant is young don't use pillows or covers on your infant.
• Make sure there is no gap between the mattress and the headboard/guardrail.
• Never let and pets onto your bed.
• Never leave your child unattended. If you are not ready to go to bed when your infant does (I suggest you do sleep when your infant does) then you can always let them start the night in the crib and move into bed with you when they wake for the first feed.
• Never co-sleep if you have drunk alcohol or taken any drugs or medications.

Enjoy your co-sleeping experience and sleep well.

Does your child wake too early?

We'd all love for our children to sleep until at least 7 AM. This isn't the case for all children; some just seem to be early risers. Hey, 6:30 AM is acceptable, even 6 AM at a push. But 5:30 AM or 5 AM? That's unacceptable in my household.If your child is over 18 months of age there is something you can do to show them when it is time to get up.

Get a nightlight and put it on a timer. Set the timer to your acceptable wake up time. The light needs to come on at that time. Be realistic, if your child is waking at 5 AM every morning, you can't expect them to stay in bed until 7 AM (well not straight away anyway!).

Let your child know that they need to stay in bed until the light comes on. They have a visual cue for when it is time to get up. You child should be able to see the light from their bed (don’t have it too near). With a quick glance they should be able to tell if it’s time to get up or not.

Make sure you give lots of praise when they manage to stay in bed until the light comes on. You can gradually push the time a little later as time goes on. Increasing 15 minutes at least every 3 days. This is also great for children who get up during the night asking if it's time to get up.

Once your child gets used to staying in bed until the light goes off you can set your timer to go on 30 minutes later on the weekends, who doesn't love an extra 30 minutes in bed at the weekend?

Sleep well.

Does your child only take short naps?

If your child only takes short nap the chances are your child is only going through one sleep cycle before they wake up. The human sleep cycle is around 45 minutes long.

There are a 3 of reasons for this.
1.)Your child is unable to get them self to sleep and when they come into a light sleep they are unable to get themselves back into a deep sleep.

2.) They could be over tired, a child who’s over tired struggles to stay asleep and just about manages to get through one sleep cycle.

3.) Your child could be over stimulated. An over stimulated child struggles to stay asleep, much like the over tired child.

So what can you do to extend your child’s nap?

You can teach them the important skills to get themselves to sleep. If they can initially get to sleep unaided they are able to get back into a deep sleep after going through a sleep cycle.

Ensure your child doesn’t get over tired. By sticking to a routine and watching your child you can get them down for a nap before they become over tired.

Have a nice long wind down period before you start your naptime routine. Move away from your child’s toys, you can go for a walk (make sure your child doesn’t fall asleep) or sit together singing songs or looking at books. Choose something nice and quiet which, will help your child to relax.

If waking after one sleep cycle has become a habit you should try and extend the nap. Once you have got your child to sleep, remain in the room and keep an eye on the time. When your child first moves or makes a noise, take note of the time. This is when your child is coming into a light sleep. You can help your child get back into a deep sleep by rubbing their back/tummy or gently patting them. During the next nap, keep an eye on the time and go to then a few minutes before you know they are going to come into a light sleep. Try this for three days and then see if they can do it themselves.

Sleep well.

Getting sleep back on track after teething, illness or travel

There are three things that can really disrupt your child's sleep.You can have a child who is the best sleeper, goes down like a dream, sleeps through the night and wakes refreshed and in a wonderful mood and then one of three things can happen.
TEETHING
ILLNESS
TRAVEL
So many families wonderful sleep habits end when they experience one of the above.

How can we make sure that teething, illness or travel doesn't ruin our child's wonderful sleep habits? You're going to be up during the night with your child when they are teething or have an illness. Give them the extra attention they need. I always find it easier to deal with if I'm prepared to be up all night. That way even if I only manage to get a couple of hours sleep, it's more than I thought I'd get.

I wouldn't expect your child to be able to get back to old sleep habits whilst they are still feeling unwell. As soon as they are feeling better you want to start getting back on track. The longer you take to get back on track the longer it will take you to get back to where you started.

If you have already sleep trained your child, I would use the same technique you originally used to get back on track. It won't take you as long as it did the first time (maybe just a night or two) but you know what you're doing and are confident that the technique works for your family. Be aware that some techniques do alter the older your child gets.

If you haven't sleep trained your child, decide on an approach you and your partner are comfortable with. Are you going to sit with your child until they fall asleep? Are you going to lay them down if the stand up? Decide your plan of action well before bedtime starts. Make sure both you and your partner fully understand what you are doing and most importantly once you have started don't give in. Be prepared to see it through.

I promise you that putting the effort into getting back on track as soon as possible is well worth it, even if you are feeling tired. The sooner you all be getting good nights sleep again.

How do I get my child to sleep through the night?

I am asked that question a lot (as I'm sure you can imagine). I tell you a secret, it's down to two matters, that's right just two.I'm going to tell you what they are and how best to deal with them.

Let's Get Started!

1.)Routine

Now routine covers a few things. Think of your child on a 24 hr schedule. They require a certain amount of milk/food every 24 hrs and they require a certain amount of sleep every 24 hour. You want them to be getting the majority, if not all (obviously this is age dependent) of their milk/food during the day. Some children get enough calories from just milk to keep them going through the night. Other need to be on 3 full solid meals a day before they are getting enough calories. Some children will sleep through at 3 months, for others who need the solids it could be around 9 months

You also want your child to be getting the majority of their sleep during the night.

Here are some examples; If your 6 month isn't having much milk during the day, they are more than likely to want to be fed a lot during the night. If your 12 month old is napping for 4 hours during the day, they're not going to need as much sleep during the night. On the flip side, you'll want to make sure your child napping enough, an overtired child can really struggle to sleep at night. Have a good nighttime and nap time routine.

If you do the same thing for your routines before sleep, your child will anticipate that sleep time is coming and fall asleep easier and quicker.Have a nice wind down period before sleep, again this makes for an easier transition to sleep. Have predictable nap and nighttime.

You want your child to have a good sleep rhythm. Wake the same time each morning, go for naps at the same time each day (for the same amount of time) and go to bed at the same time each night. Once you get your child into rhythm it's easier for them to sleep.

2.)Skills

Your child needs to be taught the skills to fall asleep independently. Children are not born with the skills it is something they learn. If you teach them that they fall asleep being rocked, nursed, bounced, etc. They will expect the same to get to sleep all the time. We go in and out of deep sleep many, many times during the night, if your child relies on you to get them back into a deep sleep, they are going to wake you to help them.

You can start teaching your child the skills from around 3 months old.

The younger your child is when you try to teach them the easier it is. A real ingrained habit (I'm talking 2/3 year) can take quite a long time to remedy (though certainly not impossible). Try not to let it get to 2/3 years. If you have been getting up several time a night for that long. YOU are severely sleep deprived.

Sleep well!

How much sleep should your child get?

I am asked many times by parents about how much sleep their child should be getting. I always advise parents to think about sleep in 24 hour blocks and not night and day. We want our children to be getting most sleep at night and just top themselves up during the day with naps (if needed). If your child is napping well during the day and going to sleep at night at a reasonable time (for your family), sleeps well at night and wakes in the morning is a happy mood then everything is fine. If your child takes a long time to fall asleep, wakes early in the morning or spends a lot of time awake during the night, then you may want to shift things around a little. Firstly, you should cut down on naps (or stop them altogether). When you alter any sleep you shouldn't expect to see any change for at least 3 days.

Here's a copy of my sleep table:

Newborn – Naps 1 – 2 hrs in every 3, 5 – 6 hrs at night.

1 – 3 months - 3 naps X 1 ½ hrs + catnap. 8 hrs at night.

4 – 6 months - 2 naps X 2 -3 hrs. Or, 3 naps X 2 hr + 1 ¾ hrs. 10 – 12 hrs at night.

7 – 8 months - 2 naps X 1 – 2 hrs, 10 – 12 hrs at night.

9 - 12 months - 2 naps X 1 ½ hrs, 11 – 12 hrs at night.

13 – 18 months – 2 naps 1 X 1 hr, 1 X 1 ¼ – 1 ½ hrs, 11 ½ hrs at night.

18 months - 1 nap X 2hrs, 11 ½ hrs at night.

2 years - 1 nap X 1 ½ hrs, 11 ½ hrs at night.

3 years - 1 nap X 1 ¼ hrs, 10 ¾ hrs at night.

4 years - No nap, 11 ½ hrs at night.

5 years - 11 hrs at night.

6 years - 10 ¾ hrs at night.

Remember, your child is an individual and has their own sleep needs, the above should only be used as a guide. As long as your child is waking in a good mood after naps and in the morning, you can feel assured that they are getting the right amount of sleep.

If you are interested in my sleep coaching packages entitled 'Finally get some sleep' please have a look at my website www.rebeccamichi.com

Rebecca