Does your child wake too early?

We'd all love for our children to sleep until at least 7 AM. This isn't the case for all children; some just seem to be early risers. Hey, 6:30 AM is acceptable, even 6 AM at a push. But 5:30 AM or 5 AM? That's unacceptable in my household.If your child is over 18 months of age there is something you can do to show them when it is time to get up.

Get a nightlight and put it on a timer. Set the timer to your acceptable wake up time. The light needs to come on at that time. Be realistic, if your child is waking at 5 AM every morning, you can't expect them to stay in bed until 7 AM (well not straight away anyway!).

Let your child know that they need to stay in bed until the light comes on. They have a visual cue for when it is time to get up. You child should be able to see the light from their bed (don’t have it too near). With a quick glance they should be able to tell if it’s time to get up or not.

Make sure you give lots of praise when they manage to stay in bed until the light comes on. You can gradually push the time a little later as time goes on. Increasing 15 minutes at least every 3 days. This is also great for children who get up during the night asking if it's time to get up.

Once your child gets used to staying in bed until the light goes off you can set your timer to go on 30 minutes later on the weekends, who doesn't love an extra 30 minutes in bed at the weekend?

Sleep well.

Does your child only take short naps?

If your child only takes short nap the chances are your child is only going through one sleep cycle before they wake up. The human sleep cycle is around 45 minutes long.

There are a 3 of reasons for this.
1.)Your child is unable to get them self to sleep and when they come into a light sleep they are unable to get themselves back into a deep sleep.

2.) They could be over tired, a child who’s over tired struggles to stay asleep and just about manages to get through one sleep cycle.

3.) Your child could be over stimulated. An over stimulated child struggles to stay asleep, much like the over tired child.

So what can you do to extend your child’s nap?

You can teach them the important skills to get themselves to sleep. If they can initially get to sleep unaided they are able to get back into a deep sleep after going through a sleep cycle.

Ensure your child doesn’t get over tired. By sticking to a routine and watching your child you can get them down for a nap before they become over tired.

Have a nice long wind down period before you start your naptime routine. Move away from your child’s toys, you can go for a walk (make sure your child doesn’t fall asleep) or sit together singing songs or looking at books. Choose something nice and quiet which, will help your child to relax.

If waking after one sleep cycle has become a habit you should try and extend the nap. Once you have got your child to sleep, remain in the room and keep an eye on the time. When your child first moves or makes a noise, take note of the time. This is when your child is coming into a light sleep. You can help your child get back into a deep sleep by rubbing their back/tummy or gently patting them. During the next nap, keep an eye on the time and go to then a few minutes before you know they are going to come into a light sleep. Try this for three days and then see if they can do it themselves.

Sleep well.

Getting sleep back on track after teething, illness or travel

There are three things that can really disrupt your child's sleep.You can have a child who is the best sleeper, goes down like a dream, sleeps through the night and wakes refreshed and in a wonderful mood and then one of three things can happen.
TEETHING
ILLNESS
TRAVEL
So many families wonderful sleep habits end when they experience one of the above.

How can we make sure that teething, illness or travel doesn't ruin our child's wonderful sleep habits? You're going to be up during the night with your child when they are teething or have an illness. Give them the extra attention they need. I always find it easier to deal with if I'm prepared to be up all night. That way even if I only manage to get a couple of hours sleep, it's more than I thought I'd get.

I wouldn't expect your child to be able to get back to old sleep habits whilst they are still feeling unwell. As soon as they are feeling better you want to start getting back on track. The longer you take to get back on track the longer it will take you to get back to where you started.

If you have already sleep trained your child, I would use the same technique you originally used to get back on track. It won't take you as long as it did the first time (maybe just a night or two) but you know what you're doing and are confident that the technique works for your family. Be aware that some techniques do alter the older your child gets.

If you haven't sleep trained your child, decide on an approach you and your partner are comfortable with. Are you going to sit with your child until they fall asleep? Are you going to lay them down if the stand up? Decide your plan of action well before bedtime starts. Make sure both you and your partner fully understand what you are doing and most importantly once you have started don't give in. Be prepared to see it through.

I promise you that putting the effort into getting back on track as soon as possible is well worth it, even if you are feeling tired. The sooner you all be getting good nights sleep again.

How do I get my child to sleep through the night?

I am asked that question a lot (as I'm sure you can imagine). I tell you a secret, it's down to two matters, that's right just two.I'm going to tell you what they are and how best to deal with them.

Let's Get Started!

1.)Routine

Now routine covers a few things. Think of your child on a 24 hr schedule. They require a certain amount of milk/food every 24 hrs and they require a certain amount of sleep every 24 hour. You want them to be getting the majority, if not all (obviously this is age dependent) of their milk/food during the day. Some children get enough calories from just milk to keep them going through the night. Other need to be on 3 full solid meals a day before they are getting enough calories. Some children will sleep through at 3 months, for others who need the solids it could be around 9 months

You also want your child to be getting the majority of their sleep during the night.

Here are some examples; If your 6 month isn't having much milk during the day, they are more than likely to want to be fed a lot during the night. If your 12 month old is napping for 4 hours during the day, they're not going to need as much sleep during the night. On the flip side, you'll want to make sure your child napping enough, an overtired child can really struggle to sleep at night. Have a good nighttime and nap time routine.

If you do the same thing for your routines before sleep, your child will anticipate that sleep time is coming and fall asleep easier and quicker.Have a nice wind down period before sleep, again this makes for an easier transition to sleep. Have predictable nap and nighttime.

You want your child to have a good sleep rhythm. Wake the same time each morning, go for naps at the same time each day (for the same amount of time) and go to bed at the same time each night. Once you get your child into rhythm it's easier for them to sleep.

2.)Skills

Your child needs to be taught the skills to fall asleep independently. Children are not born with the skills it is something they learn. If you teach them that they fall asleep being rocked, nursed, bounced, etc. They will expect the same to get to sleep all the time. We go in and out of deep sleep many, many times during the night, if your child relies on you to get them back into a deep sleep, they are going to wake you to help them.

You can start teaching your child the skills from around 3 months old.

The younger your child is when you try to teach them the easier it is. A real ingrained habit (I'm talking 2/3 year) can take quite a long time to remedy (though certainly not impossible). Try not to let it get to 2/3 years. If you have been getting up several time a night for that long. YOU are severely sleep deprived.

Sleep well!

How much sleep should your child get?

I am asked many times by parents about how much sleep their child should be getting. I always advise parents to think about sleep in 24 hour blocks and not night and day. We want our children to be getting most sleep at night and just top themselves up during the day with naps (if needed). If your child is napping well during the day and going to sleep at night at a reasonable time (for your family), sleeps well at night and wakes in the morning is a happy mood then everything is fine. If your child takes a long time to fall asleep, wakes early in the morning or spends a lot of time awake during the night, then you may want to shift things around a little. Firstly, you should cut down on naps (or stop them altogether). When you alter any sleep you shouldn't expect to see any change for at least 3 days.

Here's a copy of my sleep table:

Newborn – Naps 1 – 2 hrs in every 3, 5 – 6 hrs at night.

1 – 3 months - 3 naps X 1 ½ hrs + catnap. 8 hrs at night.

4 – 6 months - 2 naps X 2 -3 hrs. Or, 3 naps X 2 hr + 1 ¾ hrs. 10 – 12 hrs at night.

7 – 8 months - 2 naps X 1 – 2 hrs, 10 – 12 hrs at night.

9 - 12 months - 2 naps X 1 ½ hrs, 11 – 12 hrs at night.

13 – 18 months – 2 naps 1 X 1 hr, 1 X 1 ¼ – 1 ½ hrs, 11 ½ hrs at night.

18 months - 1 nap X 2hrs, 11 ½ hrs at night.

2 years - 1 nap X 1 ½ hrs, 11 ½ hrs at night.

3 years - 1 nap X 1 ¼ hrs, 10 ¾ hrs at night.

4 years - No nap, 11 ½ hrs at night.

5 years - 11 hrs at night.

6 years - 10 ¾ hrs at night.

Remember, your child is an individual and has their own sleep needs, the above should only be used as a guide. As long as your child is waking in a good mood after naps and in the morning, you can feel assured that they are getting the right amount of sleep.

If you are interested in my sleep coaching packages entitled 'Finally get some sleep' please have a look at my website www.rebeccamichi.com

Rebecca

Sleep tips

Sleep (or lack of) is one of peoples main issues when it comes to having children.

I'm currently working with 6 families who are in need of some more sleep. It's so very easy to get into a 'bad habit' when it comes to sleep. We'll do what we can to get more z's.
I only work with parents who are in need of a change, they come to me when they don't know what else to try.

Here are a few of my favorite sleep tips.

I can't stress enough the importance of having blackout blinds at the windows. Here in Seattle, during the summer, it gets light really early in the morning and stays light very late. If your childs room is too light, when your child comes into a light sleep they are very likely to fully wake. You don't really want to encourage that at 4:30 am!
You don't need to get blackout blinds, you can buy the blackout fabric at any fabric store. Cut it to the size of your window and velcro it into place. You can easily take it down during the day and place it up for naps and night time. Some people even put a blanket up at the window to make the room darker.

If your child is waking too early in the morning you can put a night light on a timer set to your acceptable wake up time. From the age of around 18 months children will be able to look over the the night light on waking. If it's off it's time to go back to sleep, if it's on your child can get up.
If your child suddenly starts waking early, they may be ready to cut down on naps. Shorten the time of naps or cut them out all together.

Night terrors.

A night terror is something that can be very upsetting for parents. A child having a night terror will scream, cry, and will be very frightened. They can sit up and thrash their arms and legs. Parents may think the child is having a nightmare.

Night terrors are more upsetting for parents then they are for children. When parents try to calm their children, they can find that they don't respond or even recognize them.

It is easy to confuse night terrors and nightmares.

What can I do if my child is having a night terror?

~ Make sure your child doesn't get over tired. Night terrors are always worse in an over tired child.

~ Go to your child. Make sure they are safe. You'll want to be there if they wake up, and needs comforting. Your child may also try and get out of bed, so make sure you stay with them.

~ Don't try and wake your child, you can actually prolong the night terror.

~ Try to remain calm. If you are anxious your child can pick up on that if they wake up.

Other facts.

Night terrors usually happen in children aged between two and six.

Children quite often go back to sleep, sleep soundly and don't remember anything in the morning.

Night terrors are a sleep disorder, much like sleep walking and talking.

If you're concerned, talk to your child's doctor.

Talking to kids about disasters.

With yet another huge earthquake in Chile, the world can seem like a really scary place to your children.

The following is wonderful information from seattlechildrens.org.

As a parent you can't control natural disasters or events in our worls, but you can help your child to cope when disaster strikes. The following tips provide ideas for ways to help make your child feel safe, things look for in your child and how to be a good role model.

Limit your child's exposure to media

• Turn off the TV and radio to help protect
children from being overwhelmed with the
repeated stories and video images of the
disaster. Also avoid exposing them to graphic
pictures in newspapers and magazines.
• If you choose to have the TV on, watch with
your children and talk about what you see.
Answer your child’s questions.

Help your child feel safe.

Tell your child she is safe, that she is your
primary concern and will not be left alone.

Be honest with your child.

• Your child will be aware that something has
happened. Before answering questions, ask
your child what she knows and wants to
know.
• Give simple, honest answers, but put things in
perspective. You might say things like, “A
few people made some bad decisions to hurt
people,” “It happened a long way from here,”
or “Most people are good.”
• Listen to your child’s feelings and concerns.
It is important to be honest about your own
fears and anxieties, but keep in mind that
children need to know people can have strong
feelings and still cope with difficult
situations.
• Encourage your child to ask questions at any
time.

Be aware of your child’s feelings.

• It’s OK if your child doesn’t want to talk
about it with you, but remain aware of
changes in mood and how your child acts.
• Coach your child in setting limits with friends
or others when talking about events.
• Some children may show what they’re
thinking through their pictures or their play.
This can relieve stress, give you clues to their
concerns and open the door for talking about
their feelings.
• Each child responds in a unique way. Your
child’s response may change over time.

Stick to routines.

As best as you can, keep on with regular
activities, meal times and bedtimes. During
stressful times, your child especially needs the
safety and security that comes with regular
routines.

Allow and expect your child to go back to
behaviors she may have given up.

These may include being clingy, problems
with potty training and thumb sucking (for young
children).
Your child may need you to:
• Leave the light on while she sleeps
• Respond quickly to nightmares
• Give extra hugs and reassurances
• Stay close to her as she is falling asleep
• Let her know where you are or will be

Use your family’s values to reassure your
child.

• Look to faith traditions and spiritual practices
for comfort.
• Point out that there are helpers and heroes who
are working hard to make this situation better.
• Help your child understand what she can do to
not feel helpless, such as raise money for relief
efforts.

Take good care of yourself.

• Be aware of your own feelings. Talk with
friends, family and colleagues.
• Develop a plan to manage your own feelings;
anxious parents have greater difficulty helping
their children manage their feelings.

Getting rid of the pacifier

Hands up who's children have or had a pacifer.

Both of my hands are up!
Yes I'm a parent coach who let BOTH of her daughters have a pacifier. We found it really helpful in the early days and it was a sleep prop for months and months, in fact year and years!
Isabell my eldest daughter gave up her pacifier all by herself when she was around two and a half years old. Leilah who's 14 months younger gave her's up when she nearly three. The pacifier fairy came one night and exchanged all her pacifiers (around 8 of them!) for a much wanted scooter.
Neither daughter looked back when they had decided the time was right.

Here are my tips for ditching the pacifier.

~ It's easiest before six months old and over three years old. It's easier to break a habit in an infant under six months old and easier to reason with a child over three years old.

~ Limit pacifier use. Keep it for only sleep times and for real comfort.

~Try to introduce another comfort item, like a teddy or blanket.

~Poke holes in the pacifer with a needle, this takes the fun out of sucking!

~Once they've gone make sure they are ALL gone. That way you won't be tempted to give in.

~The pacifier fairy can come and exchange those pacifier for a much wanted toy.

It can be really tough for your child to ditch the pacifier. If you're struggling with it, remind yourself it should only take a few days/nights for them to get use to not having it.

A week without TV

We're currently having a TV free week this week, well saying that my daughters (aged 6 and 5) are. I was going to participate but Lost restarted on Tuesday and I couldn't not watch. Even knowing it was on my DVR would have been just too much for me to handle!
My daughters didn't watch a huge amount of TV, well I thought they didn't but having the TV off for a week as proved otherwise! My daughters would watch something on the TV when they got up in the morning and then again when they got home from school. Sometime we would have the TV on whilst I was making dinner, it all depended on how tired everyone was.
I started the week feeling a little scared, how was I going to cope with them not watching TV. They did great, I did great. We have spent the week talking more and playing more. Though I do think my eldest daughter benefits from watching a little TV when she gets home from school, she has a hard transitioning time.
Most of all we survived, it was easy, it was FUN. And I got to watch Lost, yes!

So, how much TV is okay?
Experts say NO TV for the first 2 years. Have you managed that?
I didn't, I would pop on a Baby Einstein DVD for my eldest to watch when I nursed my youngest, you know those newborn days when your baby nurses for at least 40 minutes! My eldest was 14 months. It was hard to keep a 14 month old entertained whist nursing.
Over 2 year olds should watch a maximum of 1 - 2 hours a day.
I think some days we were going over that, though not any more.

What are your child's favorite shows?
My daughters love nature shows, tennis is a big favorite and we all sit down to watch Phineas and Ferb. Though we may not be doing that with such regularity anymore.